Moving in with a man can be a difficult feat. It creates a whole new level to the relationship, and intimacy, not to mention you can no longer do some of your SSB [Secret Single Behavior], as Carrie Bradshaw calls it. However moving in also symbolizes moving your relationship ahead, and what I believe to be the number one cause for turning into couch potatoes. What is better than sitting with your guy on the couch for hours, and vegging out with Netflix??? Nothing. Well except for that unintended love weight gain.
My ex-boyfriend moved in with last year, and though we didn’t have many issues regarding the merging of the stuff, aside from the bickering stage that will happen as a result of sudden increased time together, there are still some fun stuff I learned. As the last of the mohicans, I’ve gotten and heard a lot of advice. So, like those before me, (and I’m sure more will be after me), here are 5 things I’ve learned about moving in with a guy:
1. He has no comprehension that your 100% Argan Oil Shampoo and Conditioner should not be used liberally, or that your $50 jar of special scrub is only for certain areas and times as stipulated in your head. In short, he has no idea how much your beauty products costs, what part of your regimen you use them for, OR why you pay so freakin’ much for it. Shampoo is Shampoo and Facewash is Facewash to him. If you’re fine with that and sharing, then cool. If not, then I suggest getting him his own “man stuff” to use.
2. If he is moving in with you, at some point he will re-arrange some of your stuff in a way he believes to be more organized and efficient, or you know to make room for all his game consoles. He’s going to ask you the difficult questions of whether or not you still need your juicer that you seem to only use twice a year, if he can move your shoes, and if he can throw away your chipped bowl that has had many lives (but is secretly your favorite). You’re going to freak out, but you shouldn’t. He lives there too now, and its probably time to let your mangled up bowl go anyway. You just won’t like that he says it outloud. Except for the shoes. The shoes stay.
Single Secret Behavior
3. As I mentioned, you can no longer do some of your SSB. That means those monthly spa routines you give yourself with homemade avocado/egg face masks, deep hair conditioner, special softening hand and foot socks, that you top of by eating something fattening that you dip into sour cream? They’re best to do when he’s not around. I’m still figuring this one out myself.
4. If he is tall and lengthy, the shower head will never be in the right position again, be prepared to forget every time, and get a surprise splash! Right in the kisser!
5. On a more serious note. The biggest thing I’ve learned so far is how important it is to develop a communication style together. People (me included), will always say communication is the number one thing when moving in with someone. I still agree; however even considering myself to be an excellent communicator, that doesn’t always mean the other person is receiving the communication and the love as intended. Sometimes you’re just not going to be able to help this given moods, stress, and normal everyday disturbances. However, communicating on what your communication means is huge! What do I mean by this?
Sometimes going out of your way, to explain something you did, or why you went about doing xyz this way, can go a long way. I like to think of this as how one might toot their own horn at work. Sometimes you have to make your accomplishments known, right? I think the same applies to relationships once you move in. Now of course I don’t mean every time you do something you boast about it, nor is the purpose to keep a running tally. No. If the two of you express and receive love differently then communication is easy to be misunderstood. So, once in awhile making known something you did that is in your “Love Language” that maybe the other person, who receives love differently, might not have noticed or taken a different way, gives an opportunity of a deeper understanding of the ways you show your love.
Moving in will always bring its own unique challenges, some of which you might not be able to prepare for. If you’re with someone who is willing to deal with any of these unforeseen challenges that may pop up with Love and Commitment, then you’ll be able to get through anything.
What are some things you learned after moving in with someone?
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I have been living with my girlfriend for a short while. I’ve learned that the time I have spent after moving in has changed me, and hopefully for the better. We regularly speak now about things that weren’t on the plate before. Marriage, children, etc. When you did decide to live together, did you do so with an internal clock in your head of how quickly things should progress from that moment?
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Hi Charles!
That’s so great to hear. Well for me personally I always saw moving in as something to do with someone you saw a future with. (That’s only me personally, I understand people are different). So we talked about marriage, and kids, and that being something we both saw with each other before we moved in, and before we decided to move in. But I don’t think that necessarily should dictate how quickly things should progress, as much as talking about timing between the two of you should. When do you see yourself getting married? When does she? And not in a pressuring way, but I guess I would be lying if I didn’t have some kind of clock in my head as to about when I’d like to see things move forward.:)
But it sounds like your communication has never been better! Which is really the biggest part to moving in. From here you can just let it flow to what feels natural!
Thank you for reading!
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