I’m sure you or someone you know has been in a situation where you’ve dated someone for so long, that your friends become each others friends and you become close with the family. Then you break-up, and it’s that awkward moment where your loved ones wonder if they should cut off the friendship too. When it comes to friends, I think that’s easier. Your friends will always have loyalty to you.
BUT, what about the family members? Whether your relationship was 2 years or 7, what becomes of your relationship with your ex’s family? If you were a non-married couple with no children, when you break up with someone, should you also break it off with the family?
Let’s explore this a little bit.
I’ve certainly been in a relationship where I got along great with my ex’s mom. To the point that I cared more about keeping in touch with her than I did my ex when things ended (shocker). However, there were a few things I realized:
- Besides genuinely liking me for being absolutely AWEsome, my ex’s mom also really liked me for her son and I learned somewhat compared me to other women he dated after me. As flattering as that can seem, I had to stop and think how fair that would be to my ex? If my significant other’s mom kept in close contact with my boyfriend’s ex, I would personally find it intimidating. The doors wouldn’t really seem open for me to come in and I would always feel like i was competing with the past.
- Now, I know what some of you may be thinking. You don’t care if your ex stays in touch with your family, and you don’t think there’s anything wrong if you do. You were together so long, or the tie was so strong, they will always be a part of you. I’m not here to disagree. Not all break-ups are capable of making you curse someone out if you saw them walking down the street 2 years from now. I just have to wonder how fair it is to your current significant other. No matter what you say, if it was me and my boyfriend was still close with his ex’s family, I would think he wasn’t over her at most. At the very least it would make me uncomfortable. Right or not, could you blame me?
My two cents: Leave the relationship with what you came with. The confusions and possible implications for your future relationships are just.not.worth.it.
What says you?